my thoughts ♥ my words ♥ my worLd ♥

Yesterday, my class started at 3pm and surprisingly the teacher just gave us the results of the test and then we had to do it over again then after that we can already leave. Last night, I had to do something for my computer class, I did it for almost 3 hours and I haven’t finished it yet because there are lots of things to do about it. Whew! I hope I will be able to finish it on/or before October 22nd because if not, I am so dead! help!

There’s nothing to do here now I just woke up and my mom has already left for the office. My class starts at 11h35 ahhh it sucks because I finish at 12h20 then I’ll start again at 1h20 boo! In short, I only have 45 minutes to eat and I have to stay there so that I will not be late for my next class this is so not cool.

Early this morning I was reading some articles in NY TIMES and there’s this article that took my attention. It’s all about the mission of our parents haha and it’s making a love of reading happen. Well girls or boys of my age are not fond of reading novels because they find it boring or something. Hence, I like to read but I don’t know what book I should read. I’ve read lots of books and I find them interesting. I read French and English books. Well I don’t read French books to amuse me but because I need it for school.

I am planning not to go out with my friends except during vacation. I want to concentrate with my school but I am not sure if I will be able to do it haha! I have to pass this year and graduate next year. There are lots of things happened to me last school year in fact, there were chances that I wouldn’t be able to pass the year boo! Fortunately, I passed.

Love and career don’t match. We have to choose between the two of it. It’s either you love this person unconditionally or pursue your school with no distractions. It’s not easy to choose but we are free to do so. Commitment is not my thing right now maybe because I am sensitive so I get hurt easily or I just want to be alone for a while.

So yah, I’m gonna have to prepare for school.. bye!

So yes here I am again blogging.. There are lots of things happened to me this week *sigh* But I am not going  to write it all down here haha!! ^^ I just want peace of mind and yes maybe this is the only thing to clear my mind out.

Seriously, I am bored here in Swiss. I want to do something better than this but since I am still studying here I have no choice but stay..  I hope I pass this year and my last year next year. Well hopefully.. Please help me Lord. ^^  I want to do something new..  *sigh*

I promised myself that I will not go out with my friends after vacation.. I’m gonna work my ass out for school.

I’m gonna have to stop thinking about HIM! haha! I’m gonna have to move on wooooooh! help help help! :D  Man, what a life..

I just want to sleeeeeep all day long to keep my worries awaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

the end.

Okay okay I know that i already promised myself that I will not think nor write things about him but today is way different from before OMG I just can’t help it when he’s talking to me =( yah know it’s sad but yah whatever.

It’s sad to say but I know that I keep on hurting him every time I talk to him but hey you can’t blame me.. I love him but I can’t do anything about it.. So yah let it go..

I will not be able to say all these things to you now because every time we talk we just keep on arguing so yah I’m gonna write it all down here…

You know that I love you so much and God knows how I missed you. Maybe things didn’t work between the two of us but I do still love you hun and I will love you till my last breath and that’s for sure you will always be my bunbun. I’m sorry for hurting you I really am hun. Maybe you think that I don’t love you or something but I think it’s the right way for you to hate me and forget me. I just can’t afford to see you hurting while you’re sick.. I’m just a waste of time in your life hun.

You’re too good for me hun.. I love you and I always will.. Bye bye bunbun.. <333

Seriously, why do we have “friends” we can’t count on? I am NOT gonna say any names here because seriously it’s bullshit! Why do you have to tell something about your friend’s freaking life? OMG I can’t understand why =( I just can’t.. I didn’t do anything behind your back dammit WHY?? I don’t deserve this.

All I now is I gotta make decisions on my own I thought you were my friend well I guess NOT. Can’t you shut the hell up?

Oh well, all I know now is I need HIM =( I miss you because you’re the only one who can keep secrets about me that’s why I am so in love with you and I hate myself right now knowing that you’re sick and there’s nothing I can do. We have ups and downs and it just happened that I’m so down right now. However, this space that we both have now is right well probably because we can’t have everything we want in life and it’s sad to say that we can’t have each other for a reason=( you don’t know how much I love you but yah we don’t know what the future may hold.

Sometimes I ask myself why all these things happen to me. I just want to love and be loved but I guess it’s so wrong =( at an early age I already had 5 or 6 bfs back then. Then one day I met this guy who made me feel that TRUE LOVE exists. I was happy and felt so loved I even thought that he was really the one for me. I also believed that he will not hurt me nor leave me but yah it was just a dream and forever will be so now I’m back to the old me. I am the type of person that no one could love me unconditionally and yah no one could fight for me. I was living a fairy tale with no happy ending haha actually this is not new they are all the same they keep on hurting me, they made me all believe but yah I always end up alone and hurting hahaha umm maybe there’s a reason behind all of these but why me? =( my heart is so tired of being hurt almost every year I feel the same thing. Can’t I be happy for once in my life? This is not funny, they think that I am crazy because I’m so in love with this guy who couldn’t even fight for “us” hahaha Omg this is the last time that I will think/write about you Ryan if you really love me you won’t let me go because of a stupid reason god dammit you’re freaking older than me !!! Omg I hate you =( you don’t love meeee !! You said that you love me but you can’t fight for us. I don’t know what the hell are your reasons all I know is you don’t love me=( I’m not selfish or something I just want you to love me without hiding it from every freaking people gosh I don’t know what to do anymore. You weren’t like that before but why did you change?? All I fuckin did is I love you more than myself  and you’re not listening to me anymore. Actually, you’re the one who’s selfish here you didn’t try to fight for us Rye. I guess this is the end for the both of us… Goodbye bunbun…

WOW it’s been a long time! Oh well, lots of things happened to me after all these months.

First of all I passed this year and I thank the Lord, my mom, my friends and Rye who were all there for me because I really wanted to stop school before but fortunately they are always there for me gosh I feel so blessed. I had ups and down these past few months about my school, family, love life well actually about everything. I wanted to give up and cry all night long but here I am again leaving it all behind and moving on. I thank the Lord for giving me such strength.

I’ve been so dramatic these past few months. I even tried to commit suicide haha yah it’s unbelievable but yah I really wanted to die back then. I couldn’t understand myself that time but I can’t imagine myself doing it again oh gosh it was so pathetic!

One thing I’ve learned from the past was being independent we can’t depend all the time from our friends. In fact, being alone in this world is not bad at all and we all know that God is always there when we want to talk to him or something. Oh yah one thing! I just don’t understand some people here why do they have to talk shit about me because I am dating XXXX. I’m sorry to be rude but there’s no room for people like them here in this world. Everything was just so amazing and all of a sudden those retards ruined everything. I didn’t want to listen to them, in fact, I ignored them but as the days goes on and on it was getting worse. They even talked shit about my mom OMG can you just stay away from me and get a life on your own??? But now I don’t give a damn they are my biggest FANS! So go ahead talk behind my back and then you can kiss my ass haha!

I love him but he’s a computer addict!!! How long will I be able to survive it? He’s sweet, he’s nice, actually he’s ALMOST perfect but yah no one is damn perfect. We have a deal and I am hoping that this is gonna work !! Because I can’t afford to be hurt again for the 12793791′731377397 time because I might end up messing everything in my life again(I HOPE NOT) but I know that I will not screw myself up again! umm NO WAY!

Change topic, I am going home next month and I am so damn excited !! Finally, I will be able to chill a little bit with my folks and maybe being away from all the drama here in Geneva will make me feel better. I already bought some clothes to use there because I am sure that I will go out with my family and I will not be able to buy clothes hahaha!! Sad very sad… I’m hoping that this summer vacation will be a blast because I can’t afford any kind of trouble right now like last year. I just want PEACE OF MIND, I want to relax from this very stressful year! Oh gosh you don’t know what I have encountered all this year!! Oh well thank God I have finally moved on from all this dramatic experience!
You know what? I want to write things about everything but I am not sure If I could do that. I like taking pictures but I don’t have a nice cam but my digital cam and my celly pff boring! boo! I’m gonna buy a laptop on August I’m so excited haha!!

I’ve been reading books lately haha yah this is strange but yah believe it or not I am reading books!!! haha!!

I received flowers this afternoon from my bf/friend/ex I don’t know what/how to call him hahaha. The bouquet is very beautiful and I was so amazed because I didn’t know that he’s such a sweet guy hahaha!! Well yah I knew that before but I didn’t know that he’s into giving flowers hahaha yah whatever  but I was really moved by the flowers he gave me!! behhh

MMM.. I guess this is it ! till next time =)

Haven’t blog in a while, skool has just started last Aug 28th waah!! it’s getting harder and harder though, man, i hate it LOL. I like my skool, though it’s kinda messed up haha but thee ambiance is pretty kool but thee people are a bit weird haha!! I hate my tuesday schedule, man, i’m at skoo from 8 am till 5 pm straight and I have only 40 minutes to eat lunch * im ready to die * and in my chemistry class i’m kinda lost or should i say im so lost cuz everybody knows each other except from me blah blah I hate that class !!

Enuf of skoo, let me talk bout my fucken love life. Well, well, I was goin out with this guy named RYAN, LOL Lately, I realized that i was darn stupid that I get myself involved into this kind of relationship for like a month and 2 weeks I think. Everybody toLd me that i should’ve just dumped him and move on but I didn’t listen to them * hard headed i guess? * so apparently it didn’t work we broke up and he didn’t even care. i thought he was already thee one i’ve been lookin for. Before, i was really proud that he was mine I even toLd my friends about him, like, how sweet he was and how he LOVED me but all those things just fade in a glimpse. I’ve tried everything to make it work but all of a sudden I’ve seen a new RYAN who can’t fight for US, thee selfish one , and thee RYAN who doesn’t deserve me !! He made me cry but he taught me the REAL meaning of love and it’s when we should love ONE person not two or three but ONE because I believe it’s not hard to choose the one you really love rather than having 4 or more girls around and play with them fuck those kind of people. I don’t hate him, I hate the way he treats thee girls who just love him and give him everything. Well well, he might change in a decade !! lmfao.

Anyway, enuf of my drama lol. I wanna share this thing to all the Asians :

ASIANS aren’t good, we are the best.
ASIANS aren’t cute, we are so fuckin’ BANGIN’!!
ASIANS don’t just kiss, we make out.
ASIANS don’t play, we fuck shit up.
ASIANS don’t relax, we chill.
ASIANS don’t dance, we grind.
ASIANS don’t talk bad, we talk dirty.
ASIANS lips aren’t just hot, they’re lips you wish you could kiss.
ASIANS don’t just do it, we do it best.
ASIANS are the people you could ALWAYS trust.
ASIANS aren’t nice, we are sweet.
ASIANS aren’t just friends, we are lovers.
ASIANS aren’t cool, we are awesome.
ASIANS are sexy.
ASIANS we’re blessed when we’re born and were proud to tell everybody that we are 100%.

There are not enough words that could explain how we ASIAN are.

People envy us cause they know we are better!!!!

No nationality is more BANGIN’ then ASIANS!!!!!!!!
AND EVERYBODY LOVES US ‘CAUSE WERE UNIQUE AND THE BEST THERE COULD BE!!!!!!
!!!!! WE ARE ASIANS AND SO FUCKIN’ PROUD OF IT !!!!!
Luvin it! =P

Boom! It’s already 1h22 in the morning yet I’m still awake. I just updated my blog though there’s nothing special in here hehe. Well who cares? no one’s reading my lame blog haha!! A while ago, I really wanted to party with no darn reason well prolly i was just bored and tired of sitting here in front of my pc LMAO.

It’s been a month now since I came back from the Philippines for a vacation yet I couldn’t believe that it had just passed like that. Hence, I wanna go back there and take a break hehe but unfortunately I have to stay here in Geneva and study like a genius haha!! The G word’s killing me haha blah! Well,summer here in Geneva is kinda weird cuz sometimes it rains or it gets so darn hot that I want to go inside the fridge.

I’m missing my RYAN and hoping that I’m with him right now exchanging hugs and kisses like there’s no tomorrow *sigh* LOL. Well GOOD LUCK TO US!

Hmm, Blog blog muna. Lam niyo ba na maganda ang weather dito sa Swiss ngaun. Pero shempre hindi ako lalabas, bakit? kasi tamad ako LOL. And I don’t want to spend my money hehe, or prolly I haven’t got any? LOL. Hmm, School is about to start na waah, I’m not yet ready people! Hmppf, new school and new bunch of classmates blah blah. I’m kinda scared *shaking* I bet I will be this shy-type-kind-of-girl on my first day *laughs*.

Seriously, ang dami ko gusto gawin haha! Like, learn how to play an instrument, to sing, to cook, ang dami dami. Pero I don’t know where and how to start hmmpf. I also want to be an active member of our church but since I stopped attending the youth group or whatever we call that group. I’m afraid to get myself back there. Hmmpff, it’s not easy. there are times na hirap talaga ako makipag interact. Pero ito ako eh.

bored lang lmao.

I’m LOST cuz i’m a new user. But i like it here! THANX TO MERVYN ;P